Photographic Memories

2011-12-30T00:28:00.000-08:00

Probably im a jinx. I dont want to ever feel this way about myself but he made me. I guess he wont ever change. And why do i say all this? Cos he called me a FUCKED UP GIRLFRIEND. As im typing this, tears rolled down my cheeks. Last two days he called me pala butoh which simply means dickhead. And the day before he even called me that too when we fought on the phone. I guess he dont treasure these relationship at all. Throwing words around at me and toying with my feelings like as if im a doll. Yesterday was our second year and three months and this is still what im getting. I got nothing else to say. Feels like giving up. FML.

2011-12-21T22:56:00.000-08:00

My gift to you, my heart is yours ♥

Im glad that everything has settled down now. I cant deny that Alep has changed for the best of us and yes, im happy with how things are now. And still, every now and then I pray to Allah make this last forever. I told myself that it'll all perished - the thoughts about what happened that very night. Considering it a nightmare, I dont allow myself to even think about it. Bottomline, what I feel is that if we were to maintain this way I really think that we could make it. Ups and downs is part and parcel of life and I hope through much understanding and trust, Fyonalep will never ceased. I really feel his love now - unlike how it was last time - and through each and every of my heartbeat, it says I love you too, Alep.

2011-12-06T12:28:00.000-08:00

Neverending Fyonalep ♥
I never want to think about what ive been through that rough ride- not throughout this 2 years plus- but recently. Cos it hurts. It would have never been Neverending Fyonalep without my chance. It seems unbelievable that it was me making the decision now, deciding Fyonahdot or Fyonalep for myself OR Fyonalep or Zulsuzzy for him. In this hour and in times like this, i pray to Allah, whisper softly deep to my heart, i wish i could thrust this thoughts away. Thrust it like it never happens and live happily again. But i think it all takes time to heel so i guess i have to bear this insecurity. And i pray to god every now and then, make us happen. Make this love come back to life.

2010-02-18T02:07:00.000-08:00

alepbby. ♥

im currently with boyfie and is celebrating 3 days 2 night belated valentines day (:

okay , i didnt know there is such thing but uhmm, who cares . i did wish to update more but im pathetically using free internet acess at macdonalds now so too bad . ):

and i didnt realised it seems like years i didnt update this blog , neither do my tagged .

i miss home . well , family problem and then , -.- .

dont wish to talk about it so yeahh , i love boyfie sooo much and i have to go now . he'll probably be yawning and yawning if i stay longer . (;

hahaha . love ya readers .

love,

菲欧娜 !

2009-12-15T04:43:00.000-08:00

dah lama seh tak update. pathetic kan. just wanna update few photos and a short post will do. (:
im currently at malaysia, thats why i can use the laptop here to update. laptop di rumah udah nggak ada sih. ):

i miss my bby tembam!
ive been spending my days going to the gym, swimming pool, playing pool and bowling and going to th arcade, just everything else more to mention with hubby and i wish i could even have him here with me too. haish. i miss him fetching me from work and some of th days i do th same too.
i miss having supper with him after a day of hard work, i miss being carried by him, i miss his laughter and kisses and hugs and everything. argh. i want my bby. ):

oke lah, byeeee.

ohh yarhh, before i go, ive got something fr su.
is this how you treat ppl?
just get rid as you're sick of them?
i dont think im all to blame.
yes, i hv a boyfriend now but do you remember how i tried to include you in my everyday life with alep's around?
do you remember going out with me & alep?
you want to know how hard it is balancing time?
well, get yrself a boyfriend first and try to include me in yr daily life.
im not clinging on to him only, neither do he.
we invited you to join us most of th times.
dont tell me that you've forgotten sia.
and now with yr lepak fren's arnd, you easily said you dont feel like replying me?
why is it so hard to forgive me sia.
haiyohhh.
i once ajak you gi minom with my brother, what did you say?
"eh fee, aku saket uh, takpe uh"
i once ajak you keje with me, what did you say?
"takpe uh fee, aku tknk uh, aku carik keje laen"
i once ajak you carik keje with me, and last minute what did you say?
"fee, hujan uh, besok uh oke."
i want to be with you and you kept giving excuses.
you once bitch about jaja to me but why are you hanging out with her now?
that makes yourself a hypocrite sia.
i give up uh ehk.
is this what you call bestie?
i rather delete th heart off yr name.
fine la ehk, find yrself a better bestie.
im th one always giving in but not now uh.
not anymore.
goodbye.

2009-10-30T05:50:00.000-07:00

happy 1st monthsary hubby♥ .

hubby went over to my place in th mrng to spend some time with my siblings and mummy before going out with me . and im glad that theres no issue between my family and him . and nana and ferda seems to enjoy his company . (;

went out around 5 to suntec city . just sat by th sky garden and then off for a walk . played arcade and i hate how i havent overcome th fear of playing th haunted house ! i will tend to scream and freaked out when that stoopid zombies appear out of th blue . -.-

and after that hang around th water fountain . talked about past, future, all about him , myself and us . thats one of th reasons why i love hubby so much . we can talk . as you know , communication is the key .

and i dont want to be talking about a minor thing that causes a fight between us three . but to bestie out there , if you read this , i just wanna say that i miss you so much and i hope you still do want to meet me here and you still regard me as your bestie . i hope after explaining , th least you can do is to understand . yknw me best , but thrs one thing you havent yet get to know . in my life , thrs only two person . you and alep . i dont include my family cos you knw th best abt my family . th bond between me and them and how im treated . so thrs only two . i love you both . but to lose you , how will i ever get to find another bestie to replace you after years of friendship ? i cant . i wanna meet you up soon , laugh along with you , share our stories and update each other . i love you yanti bestie . i hope you do too . and fr everything wrong ive said , im sorry . and please understand that i mean what i say . ):

i love you so much hubby♥ .

love,
菲欧娜 !

2009-10-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

i love alep truckloads . BYE !

love,
菲欧娜 !

2009-10-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

taken on monday. boyfie teman me and bestie go job hunting. and i get th job. i love them both.

then, lepak at henderson park with boyfie, bestie and man.

today, meet boyfie again. lepak at our usual spot. henderson park. and im wearing boyfie's army unit shirt now. total, theres three boyfie's shirt in my wardrobe. haha. all three smells nice. haish. im missing boyfie again. ):

i love you bhiebhie.

mimpi manis. ♥

love,

菲欧娜 !

2009-10-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

fortunately theres boyfie around. everyone seems to annoy me.

meet up with boyfie at redhill after dawn. just hang around henderson park. i love boyfie. he never fails to cheer me up. and i know sooner or later he'll read this post so jyeahh. i love you bbybuchuk. (:

its 3.56am now and im still awake though i promised boyfie that i'll sleep real soon. i just cant sleep! and im currently wearing boyfie's army singlet he gave me just now to wear it whenever i misses him. smells nice. wuuu. ^^

mimpi manis, sayang.

love,
菲欧娜 !

2009-10-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

(♥)

th very top picture was taken on friday night when hubby brought me out to cityhall to meet up with his family members. theres like 4 couples in total and im glad they are friendly to me. (:

the second picture from th top, followed by th few others below was taken on saturday night. i thon with hubby and while waiting for man and su who were at godknowswhere to repair a friend's bike, we sat at henderson park. boyfie was like asking me why are thr so many kids with lanterns and asking me if it was a lantern festival day. haha. i think boyfie was so fasinated by it that whenever he saw a kid with a lantern passing by us, he kept asking me to take th lantern away. haha. and yup finally we get one ourselves. hello kitty some more! and light up few candles and ha ha, its just something ive never done before. saturday was also a cuddling day for th two of us love birds. hehe. lantern festival day. lol. we celebrated it. you? ^^

and he said he love me so much and he wont ever leave me.

i love you so much too alep.

love,
菲欧娜 !

2009-10-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

chek alepkushhh ! ♥

meet up with darling just now. alep ohh baby, why ohh why do you always make me smile? i love his singing. he's such a great singer with great voice. bby, if nk masok anugerah, i'll give you my full support okeoke? hehe. omg, mentelnya i.

so basically i meet up with alep in th morning since he had his off day and since he had his guard duty yesterday. hang around at henderson park. i learnt so much about him and he too learnt much about me. we can talk, joke around and im loving it. teaches me few tricks on poker card. played taiti and since he lose, he had to give me a kiss! haha. he sang for me and like matreps usually would say, i was like, jatoh boy!

for everything that happened that is left unspoken here, i hope you wont leave me alep.

will be meeting up alep again tomorrow. going town maybe.

i love you alep. (;

love,

菲欧娜 !